It was a torrid breakup. I was sulking around the house, didn't know what to do with my time besides blog, write tunes and practice. After a practice at my house, Kyle was hanging listening to stories. I said I had to meet up for a birthday party down at Chevy's in Brick. I asked him if he wanted to come along. He obliged. Upon arriving he ended up knowing the birthday girl and most of her friends. Odd.
On the way home, the pain hit again. I had a brief respite during the dining. But now it all came racing back. I began writing in my mind.
"Oh my heart wears long sleeve shirts, to hide it's scars"
- I thought the personification of a heart was funny. Like something you would see in the movie Better Off Dead. I was also wearing a lot of long sleeve shirts to cover my arm surgery scars.
"And I'm getting sick and tired of these late nights out here in the bars"
- I was getting sick of it, but I did not stop going every night. Ask Vicky or Tim. I'm sure the were getting sick of it.
"Cause like I said before, the whiskey, no it don't work"
-The whiskey don't work was a line from the first song I wrote after she left.
"and everyone staring at me, like I'm some kinda jerk"
- It wasn't until much later that I realized that jerk comment was very similar to a Who tune.
"Oh a teardrop dripping in my drink, I'm forced to think the thoughts that I don't want to think, I'm doing all the things I never wanted to do, but when I get home... I'm calling you."
- I always liked that idea of a man crying in his beer, and it seems that drinking only made me miss her more and think about it constantly. I never did call her that night. Or any other night. Maybe I should have.
"No I don't need no fresh start, no new coat of paint"
-Weird train of thought. I though about a fresh start - meaning meeting someone new- didn't want that. But then I thought of the Benjamin Moore Primer Paint called Fresh Start. That's where the new coat of paint comes in. But if fits either way I think.
"Your saying things about me that I'm pretty sure- that I ain't"
- It was just an excuse to use the word ain't to rhyme with.
"Now the bartab keeps rolling, I'm buying drinks for all, of my friends, we're all sitting around wondering if your ever coming back... again"
- No one wondered. But the drinks kept coming... oddly enough, there were no drunk mistakes.
"They give me advice, the wisdom of words. Sometimes I think that wisdom is a curse. I'd rather be dumb and not know what to do, but when I get home... I'm calling you."
- It seemed that everyone had their two cents to through in. I wasn't looking for wisdom at this point.
"Now I'm driving down the Parkway tonight. I've got visions of you in my headlights. But chasing your ghost, just won't do.. So when I get home. I'm calling you."
- So this brings it back to writing the song while driving home that one night. I didn't call her when I got back. But I did write the tune when I got back.